Submission, the Inner Goddess and other domestic ponderings
Ok, how did that song by Salt-n-Pepa go...? “Let’s talk about Sex...” yeah, so now you know what this blog will be about and you can safely opt out now.
So - I was asked to join a reading group that’s reading “Fifty Shades of Grey”. It’s been a long time since I’ve read any erotica, and I have to admit I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. I’ll admit I’m barely half way through the first book, but I have to agree with my friend and fellow blogger Lisa, yes, the writing leaves a bit to be desired. But the sex scenes...? Oh my, yes. One of our fellow group members wondered why this was receiving so much attention. In my opinion, and no offense please, but there are a lot of repressed women out there, and this is opening up some doors - BIG time.
I think most of all this book is wonderfully empowering. And not because of the subject matter. There is a lot more to it than just the BDSM, this is about a woman discovering not just her sexuality, but her sensuality. And as women, I don’t think we do that enough. I know I certainly didn’t. I won’t go into sordid details over past relationships, but holy hell, I had no idea how much pent up sexual aggression I had until recently...I was quite literally - about to implode. Whether you attribute it to cultural or societal mores, women really aren’t allowed to express their sexuality or sensuality without being viewed as loose, a slut, a nymphomaniac - but it seems, at least to me anyway, the underlying reason for a woman liking sex, is we must be defective somehow. BULL SHIT. And unfortunately, as women, we contribute to this view in a lot of ways. I don’t know how many times I’ve had just idle chit-chat with my peers, and if the subject gets on sex, its generally an eye-roll and “Jeez, he wants to do it again? Didn’t I take care of you this week?” Ex-squeeze me? Take care of him? What about you? Is that all it is? Because if it is, then trust me - probably neither one of you is getting out of it what you ultimately could and should
Much to my dismay, I read a mom blog recently - “The Stir” - and they posted not once, but twice about “obligatory sex” - Really? Are you kidding me? Let’s just take a giant leap back as far as feminism and women’s sexuality goes. To sum it up, it was basically a “how-to” on how to get through it...not just faking “it” but faking sex entirely. What. The. Hell. I was never so disappointed about an article as I was reading that. What a shame that this appears to be not just accepted as fact, but as practice as well. Why?
What I love most about this book is ‘the inner goddess’ - that part of a woman’s psyche, where I think a lot of us have lost touch with. That inner sensuality, goddess divine, whatever you want to call it. And how powerful and liberating it is; to not only be in control of your sexuality, what you want and what you like, but to learn how to express and share it. What a shame it is, as a woman, we don’t learn, or at least a lot of us don’t, how to communicate to our partners what we want, what we like, what we need. That sensuality we possess is extraordinary, beautiful, and let’s face it - rather powerful.
Men in general are not idiots; but they can’t read our minds either, and it’s wrong of us to expect them to. Men, are just more direct than we are. Just tell, them what you want; what’s wrong; what’s got you in a pissy mood; trust me, unless we tell them, they usually have no clue. And if they care, they will listen, and if you ask for something, usually they will accommodate you. But nothing’s going to happen if you don’t communicate. Men, face it, we are emotional creatures. Once that emotion switch is flipped on, it’s not so easy switching it off. Give us some time, and be patient. We’re just not like you in that category. And one more thing men...really...pick up the book, you might learn a thing or two.
Yes, the focus this book is receiving, is so much more than just erotica or BDSM - and I’m not advocating everyone tries it - its not for everyone. But I think that’s what’s really got women’s attention...was how do we get to know our own spark, our own sensuality, the inner goddess that is inside lurking in each and every one of us, and probably begging to be set free. I believe lot of women are waking up to that realization - if you can really get in touch with that - whoa - look out...some crazy wonderful things might happen.
So - I was asked to join a reading group that’s reading “Fifty Shades of Grey”. It’s been a long time since I’ve read any erotica, and I have to admit I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. I’ll admit I’m barely half way through the first book, but I have to agree with my friend and fellow blogger Lisa, yes, the writing leaves a bit to be desired. But the sex scenes...? Oh my, yes. One of our fellow group members wondered why this was receiving so much attention. In my opinion, and no offense please, but there are a lot of repressed women out there, and this is opening up some doors - BIG time.
I think most of all this book is wonderfully empowering. And not because of the subject matter. There is a lot more to it than just the BDSM, this is about a woman discovering not just her sexuality, but her sensuality. And as women, I don’t think we do that enough. I know I certainly didn’t. I won’t go into sordid details over past relationships, but holy hell, I had no idea how much pent up sexual aggression I had until recently...I was quite literally - about to implode. Whether you attribute it to cultural or societal mores, women really aren’t allowed to express their sexuality or sensuality without being viewed as loose, a slut, a nymphomaniac - but it seems, at least to me anyway, the underlying reason for a woman liking sex, is we must be defective somehow. BULL SHIT. And unfortunately, as women, we contribute to this view in a lot of ways. I don’t know how many times I’ve had just idle chit-chat with my peers, and if the subject gets on sex, its generally an eye-roll and “Jeez, he wants to do it again? Didn’t I take care of you this week?” Ex-squeeze me? Take care of him? What about you? Is that all it is? Because if it is, then trust me - probably neither one of you is getting out of it what you ultimately could and should
Much to my dismay, I read a mom blog recently - “The Stir” - and they posted not once, but twice about “obligatory sex” - Really? Are you kidding me? Let’s just take a giant leap back as far as feminism and women’s sexuality goes. To sum it up, it was basically a “how-to” on how to get through it...not just faking “it” but faking sex entirely. What. The. Hell. I was never so disappointed about an article as I was reading that. What a shame that this appears to be not just accepted as fact, but as practice as well. Why?
What I love most about this book is ‘the inner goddess’ - that part of a woman’s psyche, where I think a lot of us have lost touch with. That inner sensuality, goddess divine, whatever you want to call it. And how powerful and liberating it is; to not only be in control of your sexuality, what you want and what you like, but to learn how to express and share it. What a shame it is, as a woman, we don’t learn, or at least a lot of us don’t, how to communicate to our partners what we want, what we like, what we need. That sensuality we possess is extraordinary, beautiful, and let’s face it - rather powerful.
Men in general are not idiots; but they can’t read our minds either, and it’s wrong of us to expect them to. Men, are just more direct than we are. Just tell, them what you want; what’s wrong; what’s got you in a pissy mood; trust me, unless we tell them, they usually have no clue. And if they care, they will listen, and if you ask for something, usually they will accommodate you. But nothing’s going to happen if you don’t communicate. Men, face it, we are emotional creatures. Once that emotion switch is flipped on, it’s not so easy switching it off. Give us some time, and be patient. We’re just not like you in that category. And one more thing men...really...pick up the book, you might learn a thing or two.
Yes, the focus this book is receiving, is so much more than just erotica or BDSM - and I’m not advocating everyone tries it - its not for everyone. But I think that’s what’s really got women’s attention...was how do we get to know our own spark, our own sensuality, the inner goddess that is inside lurking in each and every one of us, and probably begging to be set free. I believe lot of women are waking up to that realization - if you can really get in touch with that - whoa - look out...some crazy wonderful things might happen.
I agree and love your take on this. I, too, loved the Inner Goddess! I wish we all listened to her a LOT more. She has so much to contribute to the world and ourselves!!
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