G is for Grace

There but for the grace of God go I...

I think about this phrase often.  Through social media and the internet - we have become acutely aware of our world, and the people living in it.  We have become privy to personal triumphs and tragedies.  It’s the tragedies the media seems to focus on the most.  Facebook lets us into the personal lives of friends and associates.  I always see someone who has it worse than me.  It makes me keenly aware how blessed I am, and acknowledge everything I have.  I’ve never been homeless, suffered with an addiction (unless you count chocolate, ok yeah, and Facebook) so far I’ve been able to pay my bills (still no job, hoping I figure something out soon), I have my health, my children are safe and well, I have the love and support of my spouse on this new journey I’m on.

When I get down on myself, especially now that I’m unemployed, I try to keep these things in the forefront of my mind.  And I always think to my self - 'How did I get so lucky?'  Is it because of the choices I’ve made or are there external forces at play here?  I have a very devout and spiritual mother who is always praying, I mean always, and for everybody - I’ve always thought in the back of my mind, if anything happens to her, I’m screwed.  That’s my superstitious side. I always used to worry about bad things happening to me, almost to the point of being paralyzed with my fears at times.  I gave my fears and worries control of my life - it was almost like a reverse jinx, if I worried about it, maybe - just maybe...it wouldn’t actually happen.  When I separated and divorced, I took that chance that everything would work out ok...and for whatever reason...I stopped worrying - cold turkey - about everything. I think my biggest fear finally happened... I could finally breathe knowing that my world has just fallen apart, the earth has been ripped from under my feet...Thank God! Now I can focus on climbing out of this hole and get on with my life...THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO I....


Well I went “there” and came back. I have to remember that too... I was raised with enough superstition to know that nothing good lasts for long. I’ll have to make another trip - “there" - I just don’t know when, but at least I know enough to let God’s grace get me through, it’s worked for me before.

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