Is there anything wrong with "just happy"
Bombardment
My life over the last year has been a series of dodging land mines and sidestepping obstacles. It was a rough ride for sure - in every sense that you can possibly imagine - from careers, kids, my marriage - I wasn't at all sure we would make it.
Much of it is behind me now. My life is taking on some semblance of normalcy. My husband is finally freed from the toxicity of a corrupt police department, I am finally employed again, we are actually looking forward to a future. And making plans to have one together doesn't seem so farfetched anymore.
No matter what stage I'm at in my life - one question has constantly plagued me: "Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing? Am I on the path God intended for ME?" If there's anything that matters to me, it is this mantra; it is my constant prayer; my incessant hope...am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
I read a blog about having a career and motherhood today that seemed reminded me of my mantra. She talks about how her daughters always talk about what they want to be when they grow up, nothing is impossible for them right now...and then questioning - what about me? what do I want to be when I grow up? Is this all there is? Minivans and dirty diapers? Has my life plateau'd?
Right after I read the blog, then I see this picture on Pinterest
Ok. I got it. I need to do more...
The bombardment I think we face as women is still strong - having it all, doing more. Get that promotion, get your next degree, do more, more, more...being a woman is competitive, and not just with other women, with yourself. When did being successful define us and when did that definition become as narrow as what you do for a living?
What you should be doing is what makes you happy. Period. We only get a go at this life (this time around at least) once, why spend it doing something you don't want to do?
I guess what bothers me most is how other people, other women in particular, will go ahead and do the defining for you. When you don't measure up to someone's standard of what they think you should be, and then will treat you as if you're inferior because of it.
I have no problem with people who want to do and achieve more - if that's truly what they want to do with their life. But please, don't look down on others because your achievements make you feel superior.
I think people who go through extreme losses, truly realize what is important. There was a time in my life where I was so miserable, so depressed about where I was at, that the only way I could see out of it was to take a permanent exit. That didn't happen instead, some pretty cataclysmic changes happened that allowed me to escape a bad marriage. I had lost myself for so long... I finally had "her" back, I finally had my life back. She had never really left me, I got so caught up doing what I thought I should be doing, I lost track of her.
Erma Bombeck once said:
“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”
My life over the last year has been a series of dodging land mines and sidestepping obstacles. It was a rough ride for sure - in every sense that you can possibly imagine - from careers, kids, my marriage - I wasn't at all sure we would make it.
Much of it is behind me now. My life is taking on some semblance of normalcy. My husband is finally freed from the toxicity of a corrupt police department, I am finally employed again, we are actually looking forward to a future. And making plans to have one together doesn't seem so farfetched anymore.
No matter what stage I'm at in my life - one question has constantly plagued me: "Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing? Am I on the path God intended for ME?" If there's anything that matters to me, it is this mantra; it is my constant prayer; my incessant hope...am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
I read a blog about having a career and motherhood today that seemed reminded me of my mantra. She talks about how her daughters always talk about what they want to be when they grow up, nothing is impossible for them right now...and then questioning - what about me? what do I want to be when I grow up? Is this all there is? Minivans and dirty diapers? Has my life plateau'd?
Right after I read the blog, then I see this picture on Pinterest
The bombardment I think we face as women is still strong - having it all, doing more. Get that promotion, get your next degree, do more, more, more...being a woman is competitive, and not just with other women, with yourself. When did being successful define us and when did that definition become as narrow as what you do for a living?
What you should be doing is what makes you happy. Period. We only get a go at this life (this time around at least) once, why spend it doing something you don't want to do?
I guess what bothers me most is how other people, other women in particular, will go ahead and do the defining for you. When you don't measure up to someone's standard of what they think you should be, and then will treat you as if you're inferior because of it.
I have no problem with people who want to do and achieve more - if that's truly what they want to do with their life. But please, don't look down on others because your achievements make you feel superior.
I think people who go through extreme losses, truly realize what is important. There was a time in my life where I was so miserable, so depressed about where I was at, that the only way I could see out of it was to take a permanent exit. That didn't happen instead, some pretty cataclysmic changes happened that allowed me to escape a bad marriage. I had lost myself for so long... I finally had "her" back, I finally had my life back. She had never really left me, I got so caught up doing what I thought I should be doing, I lost track of her.
Erma Bombeck once said:
“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”
This is what my life is supposed to be about. Did I do everything I could. I've realized lately, I don't want a career to define who I am. But that's just me, that's who I am. I want to do the things I love. I want to do what makes me happy. So I do it. I've done more living in the last 5 years than I ever did the 15 years before that. I've traveled. I took chances. I fell in love. I quit my job. I learned to dance. I learned to ride. I cared less about what people thought, and thought more about how I cared for people.
And I'm ever so grateful I have had opportunities to do what makes me happy. This is all I ever wanted in my life. This is all I'll ever be - and if that's all there is, I'm quite satisfied.
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